Child Inclusive Mediation

At Nielsen Nurture, our mission is to provide a dedicated space for individuals and families facing challenging circumstances to come to an understanding through compassionate mediation.

What is Child Inclusive Mediation?

At Nielsen Nurture, we regard the opportunity to speak to children and young people as a sacred trust and will only undertake to do this when we are satisfied that the purpose is to help separated families move forward with positive changes to the family dynamic. The primary aim of the child-inclusive method is to assist parents in re-establishing or consolidating a secure emotional base for their children after separation.

It will be made clear to the child that they will never be asked to make decisions as this is a parental role. What the child is doing is providing their parents with their own unique take on how it feels to be them right here, right now.

A further principle of mediation is confidentiality and, unless there is a concern about safety, the child is free to decide what is or is not shared with their parents. Most children do want their parents to hear what they have to say and can offer valuable insights into how things could change for the better.

When is Child Inclusive Mediation suitable?

We are happy to speak to children from the age of eight upwards although we have seen children as young as five. You are the expert on your child so will know if this is a suitable intervention for them. The session is conducted in whatever format suits the child or young person. This may be through play, drawing, modelling, use of visual cards etc - or they may just want to talk. The atmosphere created is calm and nurturing. The child or young person can have more than one session if so desired and agreed on by both parents.

What to Expect

Arrange a Consultation

Benefits of Child Inclusive Mediation

Child-Centred Solutions: By involving children in the mediation process, the outcomes are informed bu their unique needs and perspectives, leading to more sustainable solutions
Child Empowerment: Child Inclusive fosters a sense of agency and validation of their emotions
Reduced Conflict and Anxiety: When children feel heard and understood, it can alleviate anxiety and minimise the potential for ongoing conflict.
Maintaining Relationships: By addressing children's concerns, mediation can help preserve and strengthen family relationships, promoting healthier interactions between parents and children.

Existing Engagement

Both co-parents will already be engaged in the family mediation process to improve outcomes for their children. This may mean you are already working with us, although you may be working with another mediator who does not offer Child Inclusive services.

Joint Agreement

Both co-parents must agree to their child taking part in the process. A written agreement will be signed in this effect.

In-Depth Mediation Session

There will be an in-depth joint mediation session which will seek to explore the reasons why each parent wishes their child to take part in meeting with a mediator.

Invitation to Child or Young Person

The child will be invited by letter to meet with a mediator. As with mediation in general, it is a voluntary process and if a child does not wish to take part, then their rights must be upheld.

Mediation Meeting

Co-parents will agree on a suitable time and venue (arranged by the mediator) for the meeting to take place. They will agree on who will bring the child to the meeting place. The meeting will last for around an hour.

Follow Up Meeting

A follow-up meeting will already have been arranged as soon as possible after the child meeting to give feedback to parents. The child may attend this meeting if they so wish.

Grandparent: Intergenerational Mediation

★★★★★

As a Grandparent, there are very few avenues of communication available to me. My last hope was Mediation. When I contacted Patsie, she was very reassuring and showed great empathy and understanding of my situation. She listened intently to my story and assured me that she would give her undivided attention to all parties equally but most especially to the needs of the children. I could not have asked for a better service or a better Mediator than Patsie. She is very professional in every aspect of the process.

Co-parent: Child Inclusive Mediation

Patsie was incredibly friendly and easy to talk to right from the beginning. I felt completely confident when my daughter was meeting her. Patsie made sure she was clear about what we were trying to achieve and was able to get insight from our daughter when she was really struggling to be honest with us about her feelings.

Patsie made the session with my daughter feel safe, friendly, and fun, and not clinical or formal. I would highly recommend Patsie to anyone looking for child inclusive mediation.

Co-parent: Family Mediation

Patsie helped us to have those difficult conversations we had been avoiding as we knew they led to fights and upset for the children. She was so calm and relatable and kept us focused on our three children and we were able to speak to each other in a civilised manner for the first time in years.

We even laughed together which I had thought would never happen again between us. She helped us to remember that our children were born from love and that they still needed that love from each of us. It was a transformational time for the family and we are grateful to have found her.

Child (8)

I was a bit nervous to talk to someone about my parents but Patsie was fun. I got to model Play-doh and draw. It has helped my mum and dad to talk more to me about what is happening. The Bear Cards were my best thing.

Divorce Coaching Client

Patsie Nielsen has been my rock for the ten years it has taken for me to separate and finally get divorced. She listens with empathy and understanding, allows me to vent – and then holds up what I have said for a reality check. She sees me and hears me and reminds me that giving my ex a ‘seat at the table’ is counter-productive for me and – more importantly -our children. She has helped me through many difficult situations with care, compassion and even humour. She has a positive attitude to how to resolve conflict when emotions can boil over and I find that my go to question now in any difficult situation is, “What would Patsie say?” I cannot recommend her highly enough for separating and divorcing parents.

Co-parent: Intake and Information Session

My ex-wife and I had not been able to have a civilised conversation for months and I could see this was having a bad effect on our child who was seeing a counsellor. The counsellor suggested mediation and recommended Patsie Nielsen. I have to admit feeling a bit sceptical about the whole idea as we had reached the stage where lawyer’s letters were our only means of communication. I booked a one-hour session with Patsie but we actually spoke for more than two hours. She gave me so much to think about, especially about looking at the situation from both my son’s and his mum’s point of view. It was actually a very emotional experience for me as a man who doesn’t really do “feelings” if I can help it.

I called my co-parent (a term I had never used before) the next morning and we met for a coffee. She was rightly suspicious of my motivation but delighted when we had a long talk where I was able to own up to my part for the stage we had reached. We agreed to completely change the way in which we communicate with each other and have seen that this has been much healthier for our child. Patsie had offered mediation for us and, if things go wrong, then we may go back to her but right now those few hours have changed my perspective about shared parenting and improved life for our separated family in a way I could never have imagines. Thank you, Patsie!